Saturday September 28, 1957

Former Mayor Falls Victim to House Fire

An overnight fire claimed the life of the former Mayor of Purgatory. Around 4:15 this morning the Purgatory Volunteer Fire Department responded to an emergency report of a house fire at 321 Maple Street.  Fire Chief Ben Singed stated  “We did everything we could but we were just too late to save the life of former Mayor, Chris P. Critter.”  Chief Singed stated that Chris’ live-in girlfriend, O. Vera Dunn was rescued from the 2nd story balcony at the rear of the home.

 Vera, who is 5’ 2” tall and weighs 105 pounds, soaking wet and holding an anvil, tried to lift Chris, who is 6’4” tall and weights 325 pounds and shove him out the window of their bedroom when she was unable to wake him. Needless to say, she was unsuccessful and Chris consequently perished.

Since being voted out of office in a landslide election, Chris has been allegedly raising fighting roosters and early reports indicate the fire may have been started by

Chris’ Champion fighting rooster, Colonel Sanders, knocking over a space heater in a downstairs bedroom where Chris allowed the rooster to play. 

Chief Singed commented “The investigation is still on-going and it is too early to draw a conclusion. Initially we thought it was an accident and we were pretty sure that it was not arson. At least, that’s what we thought when the investigation began. Chris made some powerful enemies while he was Mayor so we aren’t completely ruling out FOWL PLAY.

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